Resolution

Tomorrow I resolve to genuinely enjoy being around other people. My modus operandi will be "play."

prodding the soft underbelly of misery

Hey Reader! Let me tell you a little bit about me. I am a 25 year old woman living in the Midwest. I have dealt with social anxiety and resultant depression for almost my entire life.

This last week and a half has been particularly bad. In the evenings I've dealt with sudden bouts of weeping, and last Tuesday it got so bad that I actually began cutting myself. Not to hurt myself, but just to feel. Feel anything different. The next day I could barely eat, and when I finally did make a sandwich, I forced myself to throw it up afterwards, I felt so guilty about having eaten it.

In short, I bottomed out.

This blog is my attempt to make things better. This blog is my sounding board, my scorecard, the place where I have pledged to measure my success in beating this awful illness that has been holding me back all of my life.

I have a BA in psychology, and like my most neurotics, I am obsessed with my own mental functioning and how I feel it's deficient, and, also, how I hope to heal it again. If you stay tuned to this spot, I will be carefully monitoring my symptoms and tracking the different strategies that I plan on implementing to help pull myself out of this depression.

I'm doing this because I hope that by cataloging my experiences, I can help other people who are experiencing the same or similar problems. So, please if you have a question or a comment or want to share something with me, reach out and touch...well, me! I'd love to hear from you. All of this self-involved gunk that I'm about to disclose is intended to for a higher purpose, pulling myself up, and hopefully giving other people some useful things to think about, too.